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Order Disorder

If you become anxious when things are not in their proper place, it could become a burden on your partner. Here's help.

By Neil Fiore, Ph.D. Updated: Aug 14, 2008
Hitchedmag.com
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Question: Why do I get anxious when things are not in order?
 
Answer: Mr. Monk, the TV detective who suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Jack Nicholson, as the compulsive hand-washer in the film "As Good As It Gets," are extreme examples of people who are constantly anxious unless they can be sure everything is in order so they can feel safe. Many of us have milder versions of rituals, superstitions and compulsions that, when not carried out, can make us irritable with our partner, children and co-workers.
The Root of the Problem
Usually such habits and anxieties begin during the "magical thinking" stage of childhood. In the child's normal development, he or she attempts to understand and give order to an overwhelming world by making rules and rituals, such as "Step on the crack, break your mother's back." If something awful or unexpected happens, children tend to hold on to those memories and to repeat rituals in an attempt to protect themselves and their families. If some wonderful surprise happens, children tend to repeat whatever preceded the event, much the way athletes may wear their lucky clothes or follow the same routines before a big game.
“The mind likes things to be predictable so it can efficiently activate a process that prepares you for survival or effectiveness.”
The mind likes things to be predictable so it can efficiently activate a process that prepares you for survival or effectiveness. Your brain uses predictions to subconsciously prepare you to react quickly to danger or opportunities, but can keep you stuck repeating reactions that worked in the past but are not suitable for today's world and your adult skills.
The Solution
To break free of these negative habits, you can consciously question your superstitions and predictions and consciously choose to face the consequences of breaking the ritual. You can also use deep breathing and relaxation techniques to calm your body and prove to yourself that it's safe to exhale and stay where you are. You will need to repeat this process several times until your brain makes the correction (like changing and updating a "default" setting on your computer). More severe cases may require several sessions of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.
You may find that changing your belief system about what you can and cannot control in life will help reduce the fantasy that constantly putting things in order will save you from normal mistakes. Letting go of trying to be perfect and trying to control life will go a long way toward accepting yourself as a perfectly normal human being. After all, we are equipped with many ways to survive and thrive in this world without worrying, becoming hyper-vigilant, and adding unnecessary stress to our lives and those of our loved ones.
Want to read more articles from Hitched? Check out hitchedmag.com
Leave a comment COMMENTS9 COMMENTS
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A Yahoo! Contributor
I thought obsessive compulsive disorder was predominantly caused by a chemical imbalance. This article mostly addressed the behavioral side of OCD, but did not add anything about the brain chemistry involved. Not a very thorough article.
A Yahoo! Contributor
As a sufferer of OCD, I think this article is an oversimplification of how complicated this condition can be. I have learned to control many of my compulsions but it is an everyday battle. This article seems to say that people who suffer from this condition just need to &quot;wake up&quot; and deal with life in the right way. I don&#39;t think that really is very encouraging to people who have to deal with it. I get everday successes by realiziing that I&#39;m constantly making little successes. Dealing with OCD in my opinion is about 1) realization about what you are doing, 2) eduation about OCD, and 3) setting up methods of dealing withi it. For my case, it&#39;s all about understanding and not letting it control me. Cheers.
A Yahoo! Contributor
This article is informative and helpful for the average person; since all humans have to deal with it to some degree. For those (like the first 2 contributors) who have been diagnosed with extreme cases, some simple modifications are inadequate. It seems to me that this information can help people feel they are empowered to make positive changes in their lives. I&#39;m glad you wrote and posted this information. Thank you!
A Yahoo! Contributor
I agree with the second post. This article was obviously written for the average user, as it perpetuates the misconceptions found in the film &#39;as good as it gets.&#39; It takes the easy way out by focussing solely on the &#39;habits&#39; and &#39;rituals&#39; of patients, while ignoring the obsessive portion altogether. This is a grave misrepresentation of the scope of the illness. By not including anything on intrusive thoughts, images or impulses, it can only be thought of as an elementary overview. This is unfortunate, as this could have been a great opportunity to educate the public, which could greatly reduce the stigma of OCD.
A Yahoo! Contributor
i definitely agree for some good reason about this article, some details which is true to apply. it&#39;s good and you&#39;ve learn a lot more info.just keep it up.
A Yahoo! Contributor
I just feel better when everything is in its place n clean. My friend turned all my picture frames sideways just to frustrate me lol. I used to count my steps n have to touch different items before leaving a room but I&#39;ve gotten over that. Guess I grew out of some of my weird habits.
A Yahoo! Contributor
This article grossly distorts the difference between OCD and OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). The latter could be considering an enthusiastic perfectionist who generally -enjoys- their perfectionism while an OCD person generally dislikes their compulsive behaviors and would be glad to see them gone. I am definitely an OCPD perfectionist, but it has allowed me to flourish in areas where precision and exactitude is vital: accounting, technical writing, computer programming, and general neatness. Trust me when I say that you better hope your heart surgeon is a perfectionist! Perfectionists have very high standards for themselves and others, so they tend to ecounter conflict with those who take a more &quot;lax&quot; approach to life which is generally perceived as laziness and/or sloppiness due to apathy. I have no problems with the way I am, and I get along fantastically with others who are similar! In fact, the only reason why we seem odd at times is because the non-perfectionists outnumber us more often than not. Lastly, everyone is a perfectionist in -some- area of their life or another ... their work, their house, their kids, their physical fitness, their car exterior, their meals, their collectibles, etc. ... so conflict is usually due to another&#39;s areas of perfectionism just not coinciding with yours, not with perfectionism per se.
A Yahoo! Contributor
Thank you for explaining this disease. It can and will ruin anyones relationship if certain needs involving OCD of the person with OCD isn&#39;t met. I have OCD and I admit that it is starting to ruin my relationship because my partner does little things that I don&#39;t like like the comforter on our bed is crooked:) And I can&#39;t tell him why it upsets me so, because I want to avoid the arguing, because I know he wont ever understand my condition. There is no communication there when it comes to my disease, because it is very complicated for me to explain how I came to have these habits that just aren&#39;t understood by most adults. I am planning to seek some expert help in the near future.
A Yahoo! Contributor
It&#39;s a helpful article to combat worry.
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