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Dating Reality: 10 Things He's Thinking Before He Cheats

Men reveal what goes through their brains right before they decide to ditch monogamy.

By dating blogger Kristen Flanagan for Glamour Updated: May 22, 2009
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Do you ever wonder what thoughts run through a man's mind before he engages in infidelity?
Here, a few cheaters share their confessions without any sugar-coating, so you can delve into how the unfaithful rationalize.
Cheater #1: "It's rarely a calculated decision. No one says, 'Hey, I'm going to cheat.' They do it because it's new and different -- that's the main thing. Oh, and those rambling excuses you get when we get caught? Those are true. It really did mean nothing. It really was just once." -- Adam, 31
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Cheater #2: "This better be worth it." -- Michael, 25
Cheater #3: "Deciding to cheat is a lot like spontaneously going to Atlantic City. When your friend says, 'Hey, man, let's go to AC tonight,' you think, If I don't go to Atlantic City, what will I be missing?" -- Sean, 26
Cheater #4: "When I cheated it was with someone I had hooked up with in the past. I kept thinking about how rekindling those feelings of desire broke up the monotony of my relationship." -- Andrew, 27
Cheater #5: "I guess I thought that the relationship didn't matter much to me.
“If it's something I want to do, why should I hold myself back?”
If it's something I want to do, why should I hold myself back? The opportunity was there." -- Josh, 24
Cheater #6: "Sometimes the opportunity to cheat really just falls into our lap. That's when we're most vulnerable. We just want to feel good about ourselves." -- Carlos, 23
Cheater #7: "We're not thinking with our brain... if you know what I mean. It's naturally programmed into our DNA to spread our seed." -- Joseph, 23
Cheater #8: "Besides the given -- that we're thinking how attractive a woman is -- most guys end up cheating for the adrenaline rush; it's a lot easier than stealing a car." -- Rob, 26
Cheater #9: "In all honesty, I've only cheated after I heard that my then-girlfriend cheated on me. Two wrongs don't make a right. My answer is vengeance. Although there was no long-lasting relief from the pain that comes with being cheated on, seeing her face when she found out was priceless and gratifying. This was especially true because she had no idea that I knew what she had done." -- Jason, 23
Cheater #10: "If I had to sum it up, I would say that I wasn't thinking at all. I mean, I pushed her away a few times prior to the act, but those were just knee-jerk reactions. I guess I was thinking, No, I can't do this. And then eventually, I just gave in." -- Andy, 23
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