14 Relationship Mistakes We Wish We'd Stop Making
Single women, we bet you've been guilty of at least one of these missteps in pursuit of a perfect romance -- or in attempt to sustain a love connection.
By YourTango.com Photo: Getty Images Updated: Oct 29, 2009
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It's
said that the definition of insanity is doing the same
thing over and over again and expecting different results. So, yes, we
know that snooping around our mate's email account is a bad idea and
that believing in the fairy-tale love stories we grew up reading is
silly, but sometimes we find ourselves giving these relationship moves
the ol' college try! The results? Not so successful. Plus, we start to
feel unbalanced, and perhaps rightly so.
This
point is this: there are certain relationship mistakes women make over
and over again. Like sleeping in a bad position and waking with a stiff
neck, we sometimes don't realize we're blundering and repeating until
the ouch factor comes into play. Well, it's time to stop. We're
declaring once and for all: let's quit! Quitters sometimes prosper,
especially when lousy habits get left behind. Here's the list of
relationship blunders we wish we ladies would stop making.
1.
Thinking we'll never get over him. We will. Two months
and several powdered donuts later... we'll feel better.
2.
Spying. Hacking into email or phones looking for
suspicious messages and then yelling at him for the "k thnx bye" text
he sent to his female coworker two months ago.
3.
Thinking our partners must be interested in everything we do, think,
and say. When it comes down to it, we zone out when
men talk about circuit boards. Right? Having a best friend or gab
partner outside a relationship is a good thing.
4.
Displacing. Freud was right with this one. If we're
mad at him because he ate our tasty restaurant leftovers out of the
fridge, tell him we're mad at him because he ate our tasty restaurant
leftovers out of the fridge. Don't turn it into a commitment
issue.
5. Expecting too
much. Putting so much energy into the idea of a
fairy-tale romance that we're disappointed with anything
less.
6.
Stagnating. Waiting for someone to find us, instead of
going out and finding someone ourselves.
7.
Slacking. Thinking that a perfect relationship should
be easy. Relationships require work and compromise; a perfect
relationship means doing those things well.
8.
Isolating. Dropping our friends when we're falling in
love. Friends help
define who we are, and we need them when things get tough.
9.
Fantasizing. Thinking that getting a boyfriend or
husband will solve all our problems. No one can fix our lives for
us!
10. Using the
silent treatment. Our partners can't read our minds;
he won't know what's wrong unless we sack up and tell him.
11.
Denying. Denying that there's a problem in a
relationship, instead of facing it and asking ourselves what needs to
be done. Problems don't usually go away on their own. Letting them
fester only makes it worse.
12.
Standing alone. Thinking that depending on someone
else is a weakness. Leaning on someone else sometimes is the sign of a
healthy relationship.
13.
Over-analyzing. There's analysis and then there's
over-analysis. Wondering why the fiance didn't call once during his
bachelor weekend in Vegas? A legitimate case for analysis. Wondering
why he only called twice and not three times during a guys' night out?
Not so much.
14. Trying
to reinvent the relationship wheel. If some items on
this list feel cliche, it's because they are! If we would only listen
to a good dose of love advice now and again, we'd probably save
ourselves some heartache.
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