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Dating Dilemma: Is She Attracted to Me?

All the signs are there -- if you know how to read them

By David Wygant Updated: Nov 25, 2008
David Wygant
I get so many emails from single men asking me this question: "How do I know if she is attracted to me on a date?"
This a great question, and knowing the answer will make going in for that kiss become her idea and not yours. That's right, guys -- the first kiss has to be her idea. She has to want it and desire it, and learning what her body language is saying is key to the first kiss and knowing if she is attracted to you.
When you are out on a date, sit across from her at a table, or if you are about to sit in a booth, let her sit down first and see where she invites you to sit. Some women will invite you to sit right down next to them in the booth and some will not. If she invites you to sit down next to her, she is telling you that she has an initial attraction to you.
Be a listener, not a talker
“The first step to making the date a true success is to listen to what she is saying.”
The first step to making the date a true success is to listen to what she is saying. Pay attention to the details, and react to what she has to say. That does not mean that you can't share a story or two about yourself, but the best dates are the ones where you're in a listening and reacting mode rather than a talking and bragging mode.
Of course, she wants to hear about who you are and what you are all about. She does not want to hear you brag about how much money you have or how successful you are. She also does not want to know about your negative dating history.
She wants to know about what you have learned in life to this point.
“She wants to see how positive a person you are, and she wants to imagine being able to hang out with you.”
She wants to see how positive a person you are, and she wants to imagine being able to hang out with you.
There is a lot to learn about a first date. I really suggest you book one hour of phone time with me to go over all of this. So if you desire to be the guy who women want, then email me right now and let's book that hour.
How to read body language cues
Now what type of body language should you be looking for when you're sitting across from her at that table?
Pay attention to her eyes. One sign of attraction is when her eyes are open really wide, and her pupils are enlarged when you are talking or when she is talking to you.
Another sign of attraction is that when you are speaking, she will lean her body into you and literally be drawn in with your words. She will not get up and go to the bathroom. She will sit there and not want to miss a single second of the date:
There are many others, but these are a few good ones to get you started.
“Keep in mind that what she is doing and communicating with her body is on a subconscious level.”
Keep in mind that what she is doing and communicating with her body is on a subconscious level. She is not aware of what she is doing, and that is what makes this so powerful.
One last thing: How do you know after all of this that she wants the kiss?
She wants the kiss if, when you walk her to the car, she lingers and keeps talking and looking at you. What you do then is go in, move towards her lips, and see what she does. Then pull to the side and give her a hug. This will create tension. If she then talks more, look at her, touch her face and move in for the kiss.
More David Wygant
10 Fatal Online Dating Errors That Men Make
14 Fatal Online Dating Errors That Women Make
10 Sure-fire Ways to Get a Second Date
10 Tips for Approaching Women
13 Keys to a Perfect First Date
3 Keys to Meeting Women
6 Tips for Single Moms: How to Jumpstart Your Dating Life
7 Dating Ups and Downs
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Dating coach, blogger and author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV. Get more sex and dating tips on David's interactive blog at davidwygant.com.
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