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Dating Dilemma: My Daughter Doesn't Want Me to Date

By Dating Expert Sheila Ellison Updated: Aug 21, 2009
Dating Expert Sheila Ellison
I'm recently divorced after 20 years of marriage. My daughter, who is 16 and lives with me, has a problem with me dating. What should I do to help her understand I need adult time? -- James W., 45, Marietta, Georgia
 
James, does your daughter spend time with her friends, talk on the phone, or email pals? Just as she enjoys and needs the company of people her own age, so do you. When I started dating, I joked with my daughter that
“if she were willing to spend her Friday night at home with me, I wouldn't go on the date!”
if she were willing to spend her Friday night at home with me, I wouldn't go on the date!! She got the point.
It may also be that since you're recently divorced, she's just getting used to the idea. She may be afraid of losing you, or jealous that someone else may take her position in your life. Assure her that nothing will ever replace the relationship you have with her. Give her lots of reassurance and, if possible, go on your dates when she isn't staying with you or when she's spending the night at a friend's.
Sheila Ellison is the author of "The Courage to Love Again: Creating Happy, Healthy Relationships After Divorce," "The Courage to Be a Single Mother: Becoming Whole Again After Divorce," "How Does She Do It? 101 Life Lessons from One Mother to Another," and "If Women Ruled the World" as well as six bestselling parenting books. She is the founder of SingleMomsConnect.com, an organization that connects single mothers in a one-to-one friendship that offers practical, emotional, and physical support as each woman rebuilds her life. She has appeared on "Oprah," NBC's "Later Today, and "The Early Show" on CBS. Her web site is CompleteMom.com.
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