Keep Those Standards High (i.e. Shave on Weekends)
By Male Call
MercuryNews.com
Updated: May 22, 2009
Question: I've been going with a guy for a couple years, and I think he may be the one. We've even been talking about marriage. But certain things have started to get on my nerves, and I'm worried that it will just get worse after we're married. Nothing major, just stuff like not putting as much effort into things as he used to. Is this a warning sign or just the natural pace of a relationship? -- Anonymous, San Jose, California
Answer: It's mostly just the natural evolution of a relationship, although if one of the things getting on your nerves is his recent obsession with the comeback of Britney Spears, we suppose you COULD consider that a red flag.
This gradual slippage of standards in a relationship is very common.
This gradual slippage of standards in a relationship is very common. After all, what normal person can remember to put the toilet seat down EACH AND EVERY TIME? The chances are at least 50-50 that the guy will be the next person to use it anyway, and then he'd just have to lift it up all over again. Guys, as you probably know by now, are all about conservation of energy.
But we digress. Which can be an annoying habit unto itself. Or so we've been told.
To help couples navigate the choppy waters of their foundering relationships, we've assembled a few things each party should keep in mind as their union, um, ripens.
Guys, remember that just because you've been dating someone for a couple of years doesn't mean it's OK to:
- Hit on your girlfriend's best friend, thinking there may be a threesome in the equation. Unless you're talking Yahtzee; then knock yourself out.
- Tell your girlfriend what you really think of her best friend. Because if this becomes an either-or situation, the gal pal probably won't be the one dining alone next Saturday night on beef jerky and Ja(uml)germeister. (Although with a dash of Tabasco? Not bad.)
- Exert maximum force when ridding the body of excess gaseous material, even though, yes, it's totally impressive and satisfying. But not to her. Not then, not now, not 10 years from now.
- Adopt a standard weekend uniform of sweatpants, alma mater sweatshirt and an unshaven stubble. Because, Sport, a little effort goes a long way.
Women, remember that just because you've been dating someone for a couple of years doesn't mean it's OK to:
- Assume he has lost interest in the team he's been following since his dad painted him purple and gold for a Vikings playoff game as a toddler. He might have downplayed it initially, but he'd still rather watch his team than mow the lawn, or rap about his feelings, or do pretty much anything else, except maybe express his love for you in a special and intimate way. During halftime, at least.
- Assume his interest in special, intimate acts of love has diminished. It hasn't.
- Throw out those boxes of unknown significance he's been schlepping around for three moves. Because you just never know when the Beanie Baby craze will kick in again.
- Adopt a standard weekend uniform of sweatpants, alma mater sweatshirt and an unshaven stubble. Because, Sweetie, a little effort goes a long way.
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