I've been surrounded by women my whole life, and I have a good grasp on how you think. But truth be told, there are still things I just don't get about you. For the purposes of this article, I'll keep my list short: frozen yogurt (just order the darn ice cream already!), tiny purses (you ask us to carry your wallet, cell, and keys, so what do you keep in there?!), and -- this one really baffles me -- the random stuff you analyze when trying to figure out if a guy is into you.

As my civic duty, I'm going to lay out exactly what you should be keeping an eye on. Here's what we do when we like you:

#1. We text you between noon and 5 p.m. It's not the frequency that shows if he's into you. The truest sign of a guy's interest (assuming you've been on a few dates) has to do with WHEN he's sending his texts.

Like, before noon is weird. He has a job, right? You want it to be sometime between noon and 5 p.m. He's waited just long enough not to look desperate, but he's leaving enough time for the two of you to make solid plans. Any text after that means you're an afterthought or his other plans fell through and he wants to get out of his house. Anything beyond 11 p.m. shows he has an ulterior motive. If he texts you at 4 a.m. with "hye baby im drnkn and i wana see u. come outsid," forget about him. Also, maybe call the police.

#2. We schmooze with your pals. We have watched "Sex and the City" (please don't tell) and know how influential your friends are. If small talk endears us to them, we'll turn up the charm. We're also hoping it will loosen your pals' lips and they'll tell us some embarrassing stories about you.

Those stories show that you know how to have fun. We'll laugh over a tale about that time in college when you hit on the dean.

#3. We take you out during the day. If he wants to schmooze you near his place, he has an agenda. He's going to get you in the mood and casually suggest going back to his pad, where he'll try to get lucky. Someone who invites you to lunch legitimately wants to get to know you.

Even better, he thinks you're pretty enough not to need dim lighting and other mood tricks. Bonus points if he's willing to come to your neighborhood. One more thing: We aren't being lazy when we ask you to suggest a restaurant. We're doing it because it guarantees that you'll enjoy your meal. If I pick, we're going to end up at Quiznos -- delicious but not so romantic.

#4. We email you. I've heard many female friends complain that a guy sent them an email instead of calling. Don't take it as a bad sign! If he sends it during the workday, it's because he's stressed out and you provide him with a pleasant escape.

Be wary of the guy who prefers posting messages on social networking sites. Single men use it as a distraction, and chances are, your profile isn't the only place he's writing on. In fact, he's probably even pinging other women.

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