Dating Advice: 10 Annoying Text Habits to Avoid
Terrible texting etiquette -- and ways to combat them
By Victoria Lowe for Cosmopolitan Photo: Robert Delahanty Updated: Aug 14, 2009
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Unless
you're living a seriously alternative lifestyle, you've
probably been communicating via text for a while now.
You text your friends, your dates -- even your parents. It's quick,
convenient, and usually makes your life more pleasant... except when
you come face to face with the 10 worst texting offenses in the world.
Check 'em out below, plus some advice on how to stop offenders in their
tracks.
More Dating Articles from Cosmopolitan:#1. The Mass TextIt's
Friday night, you're at home on the couch, and you get a text that goes
something like this: "What are you getting into tonight?" You know for
a fact that this very same text just went out to 20 other people at
exactly the same time, and that the sender is just waiting to receive
all his/her options before deciding what to do. So what if the only
thing you have planned for the night is that lame (but sooo good)
Lifetime movie at 11? You refuse to hang out with someone unless they
make specific plans to hang out with you. You know how you can block
those newsletters that you never signed up for by sending an email with
"unsubscribe" in the body? We suggest doing the same thing in a
reply-text.
#2. The Texting Cult There
is always at least one point in the night -- a lull in the
conversation, a pause between thoughts -- when it gets really quiet,
and you look around and realize that all your friends are busy texting.
One person pulls out her iPhone while everyone else is looking at the
dinner bill, and then someone else starts doing it, and before you know
it, you're in the middle of the sacred circle of text. Resist the urge
to choose some random person in your contacts to send a useless message
to. Instead, pull out your phone and send a text to everyone at the
table asking, "Should we order something else?" It will make everyone
laugh but also point out the silliness of the situation.
#3. The Double MessageOf
course you screen calls. Everyone does. Sometimes you're in the middle
of something and sometimes you just don't feel like talking. But your
phone is still working, and you see the missed call and the voice
message alert. So why -- why?! -- do certain people feel the need to
send a text letting you know that they just left a message? Don't they
realize that if someone is smart enough to read a text, they're also
capable of understanding what the little bobble head with the sound
waves coming out of him symbolizes? Text back, "What's next, a carrier
pigeon?"
#4: The Texting TeaseYou're
seeing a really cute/smart/funny/cool new guy, and your heart skips a
tiny beat every time you get a text from him. In the middle of the
week, you get one asking what you're up to this weekend. Assuming he
wants to do something together, you let him know that it's looking
pretty relaxed so far. Does he then proceed to make a plan with you?
No. He responds, "Oh OK, cool." You stand there with a perplexed look
on your face. Respond "Yeah, but call my secretary if you want to
schedule something." This way, the ball is in his court, but ultimately
you're the one who is in charge, thanks to your confident
attitude.
#5. The Bulk TexterAn example of what a series of texts from this person might look like:
- Hey!
- What's up?
- What are you doing tonight?
- Some of us are going to Cool People Club tonight.
- Around 10
- It's gonna be me and Chris
- Are you coming?
- Let us know
- Byeee!
- lolz
An example of what that exchange should look like:
Text 1: Hey, Chris and I are going to Cool People Bar around 10 tonight. Let us know if you wanna come.
An example of what you could text back:
- Please
- never
- text
- me
- this
- way
- again.(one minute pause)
- For "realz."
You've
just finished a sufficiently long and entertaining texting exchange
with someone, and now you're ready to put your phone down for a little
while. But your phone dings, and it's another text from said person. It
looks like this: "Soooo..." Or, "What upppp." Or, "la la la..."
Clearly, they have nothing else to say and just want something to do.
Send a text saying, "Running, watching movies, reading books, baking."
Your buddy will get the point that some people actually have a
life.
7. The Show-and-TellerLove
is wonderful. We're huge advocates of love and being in love and
enjoying that love. People gushing on and on about their amazing love
life? Not so much. Not only do you have to listen to them tell every
insignificant story about how cute it was that their boyfriends ate
pancakes for dinner and woke up with a funny hairdo, but you also have
to read all of their SUPER-cute texts. "Guys, look what he wrote to me!
Omg look at what he said now! Haha aww, look at this one!!" The cure? A
dose of their own medicine. "Hey, look what my mom said about her
gallbladder! Omg you won't believe how I'm planning to organize my sock
drawer! Aww, my dog is wagging his tail. Oh, he's doing it
again!!"
8. The Goobers-and-Popcorn TexterThe
previews are over, you've been waiting to see this movie for weeks, and
here you finally are, snacks in hand. But the guy in front of you
insists on ruining your experience by texting for the entire 96
minutes. Here's a little secret he doesn't know: EVERYONE sees his
phone lighting up. And hears it vibrating violently every two minutes.
When the lights come up at the end of the flick, call up a friend and
loudly discuss how rude the guy texting throughout the entire movie
was. Then get ready to start running.
9. The Lingering KThis
one is especially aggravating if you're not on an unlimited texting
plan. You get a message asking how your day went or if you'll be free
at a certain time, so you send back a detailed and informative reply.
Your phone dings again. You open the message and it says..."k." Do
people not even have the decency to include the o? The offender doesn't
even need to reply to the message. But if they feel the need to, could
they not at least drum up something a little more personal/creative/not
totally unnecessary? Respond by letting them know how much, to the
cent, they owe you for superfluous texts the next time you're together.
Then hold your palm out expectantly.
10. The Needs-to-Grow-Up TexterGuys
should never, ever get comfortable with using text slang and
abbreviations. Whether he's a friend, date, or boyfriend, no girl wants
to associate the men in their lives with tween-speak. The next time he
sends you a "TTY L8ER" or "C U 2morrow," tell him that he should really
consider an iPhone, BlackBerry, Sidekick, or "anything that gives you
more room to text." He'll realize how outdated his text-talk
is.
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.Limited
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