Dating 101: How to Date a Coworker
Behold, the rules for pulling off a workplace romance. Now you can't say that you didn't get the memo!
By Victoria Lucia for Cosmopolitan
Photo: iStockphoto.com/©Michael DeLeon
Updated: May 22, 2009
If
you're crushing on a colleague, you're not alone: A CareerBuilder.com
survey found that

40 percent of workers have dated someone on the job
during their career
40 percent of workers have dated someone on the job
during their career, proving that it's a hookup hot
spot, albeit one with parameters. Here, advice for turning a flirtation
into a potential relationship.
TESTING THE WATERSBefore
making a move, it's a good idea to suss out whether your work crush has
the hots for you too. Some tip-offs are "if he starts hanging around
your work space a lot or asks you to grab lunch or after-work drinks,"
says Stephanie Losee, coauthor of "Office Mate."
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It's
also promising if he's in an unrelated department yet asks your opinion
on a project of his -- it indicates that he is looking for an excuse to
talk to you and values your opinion, notes Losee.
You
can do your own digging by jokingly saying, "Everyone thinks we're
seeing each other, ha-ha. Crazy, right?" If he casts a wide grin or
seems into the idea, the coast is clear to start flirting and see what
happens.
AVOID GETTING BUSTEDOnce
you've gotten together (we know you'll get this thing moving), keep
that info on the DL. "If it turns out to be a two-week fling, nobody
needs to know about it," says Helaine Olen, coauthor of "Office Mate."
And monitor how often you bring him up. Olen says coworkers often
intuit a liaison when one person mentions the other too frequently --
for example, "Here's that report... John helped with the graphics" or
"Where'd you go for lunch? Oh, John loves that place."
But
if you were chummy before, don't ignore him now -- that draws more
attention than the occasional friendly moments does. No matter how
covert you are,

people are likely to catch on, but there's no need to
broadcast it.
people are likely to catch on, but there's no need to
broadcast it.
WHEN TO COME CLEANMost
companies are lenient about
dating (except between
supervisors and their subordinates), says Lois Frankel, PhD, author of
"Stop Sabotaging Your Career." "They recognize its ubiquity." But there
may be rules about whom you have to inform and when.
If
it gets serious (i.e., several months), it's wise to tell your boss --
even if you don't have to -- before she hears it from someone else,
notes Frankel. Just say "I wanted to let you know Brad and I are
dating. We'll be sure not to let it interrupt our work."
Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.
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