Dating 101: Are Bad Dating Habits Keeping You Single?
Five tips to free yourself from common dating traps
By Lisa Steadman, The Relationship Journalist
Special to Yahoo! Personals
Updated: May 22, 2009
In
the search for love, it's all too easy to get sidetracked by bad dates,
broken hearts, and bad love habits. And while bad dates and broken
hearts are part of the dating journey toward happily-ever-after, bad
love habits can and should be avoided at all costs.
So
what's a bad love habit? Any dysfunctional, destructive, difficult
belief or habit you have towards love and relationships that's keeping
you from finding, attracting, and/or maintaining a healthy
relationship. The following are some common bad dating
beliefs:
- You choose potential partners who are incapable of meeting your emotional needs.
- You think love has to be difficult, painful, and/or hard.

You think your potential partner
is going to fix whatever you don't like about yourself or your
life.
You think your potential partner
is going to fix whatever you don't like about yourself or your
life.- You believe time is running out on your search for love and/or your chance to have children.
If
any of the above sound familiar, don't worry. You're not a lost cause.
In fact, with a little time and effort, you can turn things around!
What follows are five simple and effective tips and techniques geared
toward helping you break free of limiting relationship beliefs and bad
dating habits. Practiced over time, you can and will kick any bad
dating habit -- for good!
1. Identify the dating traps you're stuck inThink
you've got to miraculously solve all your problems before you'll be
deserving of love? Convinced there are no good "ones" left? Or do you
believe that your perfect partner will one day swoop in and magically
save you from your life? If any or all of the above sound familiar,
chances are good that you suffer from some common dating traps. In
order to become a successful single, you first need to free yourself
from these traps. Acknowledging the traps you're stuck in is the first
step. Next, you've got to break free of these traps, as well as any
other limiting or destructive beliefs that are keeping you stuck. To
find out how, keep reading.
2. Assess your excess baggageNext,
it's important to get honest with yourself about what you might be
lugging around with you on dates (or in life in general). What are you
holding onto that no longer serves you? Rejection, disappointment,
betrayal? This is from your past, not your present or future. If you've
got negative or destructive beliefs or fears weighing you down, you owe
it to yourself to dump that excess baggage!
3. Dump your excess baggageIn
order to have a happily ever after future, you have to first believe
you deserve
finding a mate. Gather those painful memories, that chip on your
shoulder, any residual anger from past relationship experiences, and
tell them they've got to go. Thank them for the lessons you've learned
and tell them that it's now time for you to stand on your own two feet.
In your mind's eye, give them the heave-ho! Next, start visualizing the
kind of life you want to have, complete with your dream job, perfect
partner, ideal home, etc. By getting clear about what you want, you
give yourself permission to attract it.
4. Stop putting off your life and/or personal happinessSo
many of us put off personal happiness waiting for some external result
like "I'll be happy when I lose weight, when I pay off my debts, when I
get a better job." The truth is, you deserve to enjoy your fabulously
imperfect life right this very minute!

When you stop putting off happiness, you
start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting and new
opportunities.
When you stop putting off happiness, you
start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting and new
opportunities. Instead of postponing joy until
something external happens, today's the day to start celebrating the
joy in your everyday life.
5. Embrace a new dating vocabularyNow
that you're baggage light and dating-trap free, it's time to introduce
a new vocabulary to your dating belief system. Every morning and night
for 30 days, practice the following exercise: Say to yourself
"Love/dating/my ideal relationship is..." and then fill in the blank
with the appropriate words (words like healthy, whole, loving, fun,
etc.). By creating a new vocabulary for yourself, you may be surprised
at how your outlook on dating and relationships changes, and as a
result, you'll start attracting happier and healthier potential
partners. Love that!
So there you have
it -- five simple dating tips and techniques to help you break free of
limiting relationship beliefs and bad love habits. May you learn them,
love them, live them. In doing so, you just may fall in love with your
life all over again, not to mention exponentially increase your chances
of future relationship success.
Good luck and
happy dating!
More Related Dating Advice: