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5 Ways to Date a Woman in the Workplace
Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: May 10, 2008
Approaching a woman who is a coworker must be done carefully
By David WygantSpecial to Yahoo! Personals Updated: May 10, 2008
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As a dating coach, people come to my blog every day and ask me this question: ''David, there's this great woman that I want to date who works with me at the same company. How do I get her to date me and still keep my job?''
Dating in the workplace is very tricky, because you don't want to jeopardize your status in the company
or her status in the company. You also
don't want to create any bad blood between you and a fellow coworker if it
doesn't work out.
Now, I'm not saying that this is something
that can't work.
There are a lot of
people who have fallen in love with coworkers... you just need to know how
to approach it the right way
There are a lot of
people who have fallen in love with coworkers... you just need to know how
to approach it the right way, and how to "feel out" things as you do that, so
you don't put either of you in a precarious situation.
There are a lot of
people who have fallen in love with coworkers... you just need to know how
to approach it the right way Approaching a woman who is a coworker must
be done somewhat differently (and more carefully) than approaching women with
whom you don't work. With that in mind,
here are my five steps to determine whether to (and, if so, how to) ask out your
fellow coworker:
1. Start off by having lunch with her and a
group of other people in the company cafeteria or the company lunch room. Get to know her in a group setting with no
pressure at all. This way she gets to
know you and what you're all about in a very casual way.
2. Get a group of coworkers together and go
out for happy hour one day after work. Now that you've already had some time in the cafeteria to get to know
this group of coworkers better (including the woman in whom you're interested),
going to a happy hour with this group is a great way to get to know each other
outside of the work environment. Being
outside the work environment will also give you the opportunity to do a bit of
flirting with her. This will be a good
way to see if she's also flirting with you.
So the key to liking someone at work is not
to let your coworkers know it. 3. IM her one day and ask her what she's doing
for lunch. Be playful and tell her that
you really need to get out of the office, and that you couldn't think of anyone
more fun with whom to have a lunch escape. Make it casual. You've already
hung out with her in a group setting at lunch and at happy
hour.
This is your chance to be alone with her,
and to find out more about her. This is
also her chance to get to know you better. Keep in mind, though, that this is not a date. It's just two coworkers having lunch. If this lunch is successful, then proceed to
Number 4.
4. Start sending some emails to her during the
day - just funny and light stuff. For
instance, you could tell her about an office rumor you heard and say that you
wanted to tell her about it first. You
could also pass along a funny email that your friend forwarded to you. Tell her that you're forwarding it to her
because you know she'd appreciate it.
Once again, keep it light and
friendly. If she responds positively,
you'll probably end up IM'ing with each other periodically during the day when
you are both bored. If this stage is
successful, then move on to Number 5... the close!
5. "The close." On a Wednesday or Thursday when you're
speaking with her, casually find out what she's doing that Friday night. Tell her you are going out with a bunch of
your guy friends, and that it would be great if she came with some of her girl
friends so you could all hang out together. Once again, this is very casual... but it is also the final tell-tale
sign you need to learn so that you can decide whether or not to ask her out on a
date.
When you meet her group, start talking to
her friends and watch what she does. If
she keeps coming over, "claiming you," and trying to pull you away from her
friends, then she is interested in dating you. If she ends up making out with one of your friends in the corner, then
she'll never know about your secret crush and you will never have to worry about
work-related issues or tension. If she's
hanging out primarily with you (or even better hanging all over you and no one
else), then it's time to confront her and ask her out on a real date.
You never know where you are going to find
someone you like. There are no
impossible situations. So the next time
you find a woman in your office to whom you're attracted, follow these 5 easy
steps so that you can see if she is also interested in you without worrying
about what life at work will be like if she isn't. Explore the possibilities... you never
know what may end up developing.
More David Wygant- 10 Fatal Online Dating Errors That Men Make
- 14 Fatal Online Dating Errors That Women Make
- 10 Sure-fire Ways to Get a Second Date
- 10 Tips for Approaching Women
- 13 Keys to a Perfect First Date
- 3 Keys to Meeting Women
- 6 Tips for Single Moms: How to Jumpstart Your Dating Life
- 7 Dating Ups and Downs
- Actions Speak Louder Than Words
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