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Guy Refuses to Take Pride in Paying for the Dates
By Male Call
MercuryNews.com
Updated: Aug 16, 2008
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Question: Should the guy pay for the date? I'm struggling with a money issue with a guy I've been dating a few months. We make similar money -- not much, but not minimum wage. We were splitting the bill when we first started dating.
he still makes it known at times that we are going Dutch
Answer: This is an endlessly fascinating topic, since it raises all sorts of questions about fairness, feminism, the shackles inherent in a patriarchal society, mathematics and, perhaps most important in the long run, monetary policy at the Fed.
Luckily, we won't go anywhere near most of those issues. What do we look like, Mother Jones? No, we prefer to keep things simple, because that's just the way we roll, and also because we have no idea what "the Fed" is, anyway. Does "Fannie Mae" live there with "Freddie Mac"? If so, who pays for dinner at "Trader Vic's"? Never mind. We don't really want to know.
A tightwadFirst things first, S.A. Yes, the guy is a tightwad.
He also must have missed the first day of Guy School 101
He also must have missed the first day of Guy School 101, where he would have learned that The Guy Always Pays (at least at first).
He also must have missed the first day of Guy School 101 We didn't say it's fair; it just is. For some reason, feminism was able to stamp out inequality in many areas, but this one hangs on. Why it remains and, for instance, smoking hot stewardesses have disappeared, is a mystery and, needless to say, a disappointment to us.
But most guys (though not, apparently, your Mr. McCheapo) will set aside the incongruity and go with tradition. They want to make a good impression, and they know part of that entails paying for those first few Beef Burrito Supremes, even if it means diving into the nether regions of the couch for spare change. (Tip for guys: Unscrew the top of the agitator assembly inside your washer and lift it off. You'll find at least $1.50 in quarters under there, plus maybe that Paris Hilton flash drive you thought you had misplaced.)
So yes, S.A. -- if indeed that is your real name -- your position is antiquated, and ridiculously old-fashioned. But we mean that in a good way. In your case anyway. Because you at least offer to pay some of the time. Nothing turns a guy off more than a woman who never ever offers to chip in. And, just FYI, the opposite is true as well -- a guy who hears "Honey, tonight is on me ... OK, no, not actually ON me, but I'm paying" is likely to be very appreciative of the gesture. If you know what we mean. If not, ask Freddie Mac.
Want more Male Call? You'll find it here MercuryNews.com/malecall
I think its perfectly fine for the woman to pay first. We see all these women acting independent and strutting around with "Equal Rights" but they wont go into the Draft, And wont Pay/Fight for what america means most. which is thier freedom, more freedom than any country. i think a women paying the dinner bill is a nice start.
I think its perfectly fine for the woman to pay first. We see all these women acting independent and strutting around with "Equal Rights" but they wont go into the Draft, And wont Pay/Fight for what america means most. which is thier freedom, more freedom than any country. i think a women paying the dinner bill is a nice start.
I am a little old fashioned with some things, if I take a woman out weather its my sister, mom, good friend, girl friend, or wife, the woman doesnt pay. I think if he is a real man and has pride in you and himself and he really wants to be a gentleman, then he should pay for the bill, If the woman feels weird about him paying all the time then ladies offer to atleast pay the tip for the meal or buy him a drink or two when he least expects it.
I have the opposite problem! I have offered to pay or buy groceries when we cook at home. I am never allowed to.
this guy is mean to the woman that wrote..
As long as women are the only ones to birth the children, I think it's reasonable that men get to pay for dinner. :-)
I am with Bella! 7 months strong, I have paid for one breakfast and one dinner. I feel bad about it though and will that he would allow me to pay sometimes. Of course he makes 2 1/2 times what I do and knows it.
It's funny how women haved pushed for equality for somewhere around 35 years, except where it comes to money.
In todays world if both people are making the same money then each should pay there fair share when dating. I understand splitting the bill kind of takes away from the romance but as long as each person is treating the other every other date then its fair. I don't think its fair to expect the guy to flip the bill 2 out of 3 nights out.
The fact that after several months of splitting the bill you ask to take each other out, cause it is nicer, secretly wanting him to pay for it every time doesn't seem very fair. Why don't you simply tell him you'd rather have him pay for dinner every time you go out? Who's the tightwad now?
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