You never want to have your kids opionions count more than your own - you are their leader. Use it as an opportunity.They need to learn to adjust in society if they are to have many friends, get & keep a job, get & keep a mate, etc. Everybody is supposed to try to get along with everybody to be WELL adjusted.

The other day I found a very old letter my mother wrote my aunt (her sister). It was about their new step mother. She married granddad 2 years after my grandmother died. This woman put a wedge between my mother, aunt and grandfather. This old lettter told a day-in-the-life story that explained a lot about why my mom was always so icy to granddad. The lesson is that when you have children and you date, your romantic interest affects your children. It's no longer all about you. sometimes your children are trying to tell you something important about your love interest that you are too close to see it............

come on.......if the situation were reversed do we as parents really believe our childen (no matter their age) would consider our feelings towards their new gf or bf......its your life! you are the one who must live it and be happy ............unless of course the new guy uses inapproiate behavior towards your chilren then I'd tell him to get lost.

I wouldn't throw in the towel so soon! Granted, it's not easy for the boys to see Mom with someone new, (maybe they sense a potential step-father here, and are not happy with the idea?) and they may not like the idea of having to share your time and affections. Also, they could be concerned about your new man's opinions of them. (This was not mentioned). What are his feelings? Before making such a huge decision, this should be weighed, too. Also, what are you hoping for in this relationship? Your son's opinions of your man should not be the only factor you consider...and should not be the most important factor...at least not yet. If you and your boyfriend decide to merge households someday, then your sons' opinions could wreck havoc on your relationship if they are not tactfully considered and dealt with beforehand. ~~Victoria (single mom of a 16 year old son)

It all depends on the type of children you have, if they are spoiled, then they're probably just seeking attention, but if they're usually well behaved, they might have a point, you're just to infatuated to see it.

Your kids opinions of A man's sense of humor has nothing to do with whether he loves you or not or you love him or not. Your kids are 15 and 20? One shouldn't be at home and the other will be gone in a few short years. It can be about what you need as a woman. Men have terratorial issues even at 15 and 20. Especially without a father figure there daily. There will be no man good enough for you in their eyes. You are Mom and I get the feeling you are a damn good one. BUT they are still children with a child opinions. High school and college opinions. Only you will know if YOU want to be with this man. If you want to try with this man and are as close to your boys as I assume, talk to them about it beyond what you might have talked about before. You can have what you want as a woman. It's Okay. On another note, I wouldn't take dating advice from ANY 15 and 20 yr old boy.

cant believe im responding to this, but this is ridiculous. ur children come first, no matter what. u brought them in this world and u r responsible for their happiness and well being. u are not in college anymore, time to give up the me-first attitude. u have responsibilities to others. dont depend on another person to make u happy. your relationship with your kids is the one that you cant avoid. you set a bad example to them by disregarding their feelings for your own. you just teach them selfishness. they will, in turn, likely get divorced because they too will be selfish. ive seen too many of my friends be neglected by their parents who are dating. u r a parent first and an eligible single a way distant second.

As a child of divorced parents, I have some personal experience with this situation. My mom was in a long term relationship (ten years) with a man that, I at the age of eleven, could tell wasn't good for her. He had very little ambition and even fewer interests. She deserved more but surrendered all of her personal strength to be with him, as well as, making some very questionable decisions in raising me. It drove a wedge between a very close mother/daughter relationship. I didn't feel like I could object to the relationship without making it seem like I was just being selfish, wanting her time back. What I really wanted was for her to be happy and couldn't see him providing that. She spent all those years waiting for him to change for nothing. Twenty years later, she is alone and jaded. This was the last major romantic relationship she had. We have since mended our mother/daughter bond, but she gave up all of her interests and is now to scared to try living. My point, talk to your kids objectively. At 15 and 20, they are old enough to have some insights that you may not be able to see. I hope your relationship with your sons are ones that you can have an open discussion with them to understand their motives. Then weigh their opinions and yours to make the best (hard) decision for everyone involved. You deserve to be happy, but your kids will always be your kids and you will always be their mother. No one ever said parenting or relationships are easy...

I am a single mom and dating a man that my two sons do not care for. First of all, this man instills respect where I know my sons both lack for me. My ex (their father) gave no respect to me therefore they have an issues when the BF is around. But guess what, I get the respect I deserve when he is around. But it is true, talking openly about the relatioship does work. They need to see the good things about the BF and especially if you enjoy your time with him and are not being taken advantage of, then stay in the relationship.

Question: Is this guy dating you or your sons? YOU! Very good! The only opinion that should matter in the relationship, on your side of the family, is yours. If you love him, stay with him. AND explain to your sons that you love him and to stop the backstabbing. Listening to your sons' complaints will only injure the relationship. You have to go with what your own heart and mind are telling you.