Too many men out there don't want a commitment!

I think your are in denial. You have already answered your own question. He is Married. How can he commit to you when he is morally commited to someone else. He is not emotionally free to love you when he legally still belongs to someone else. You are having sex with a married man. Have you thought about STD's. If he loves you that much he should be willing to wait until he is divorced before he becomes emotionally involved with someone else. I think they call it adultry. That destroyed my marriage. And guess who who the attorney's were in favor of during the divorce settlement the wife. If he doesn't have the decency to wait to starts a new relationship until after the divorce, he probably was cheating on his wife all along. I hope the wife gets everything. He sounds like a loser to me.

Dear Robin - I know just how u feel since I was in the same situation with my now ex-boyfriend who I dated for 3 yrs, on and off. Since we are from the Indian culture he was hesistant to marry me because i have kids from my previous marriage and he then left me to marry a girl 10yrs younger than him to have kids, since he has no kids. He is 45 and I am 40 so he told me I'm too old for him. He was insulting, rude and disrespectful to me during the relationship so I left him which was the hardest thing i ever did. Then he married that younger woman set up by his family and 10 months after their marriage he and her filed for divorce. Now I know he is looking to make his way back to me who has always been there for him through thick and thin. I am hesistant because after leaving him I had the time of my life dating other guys and realise my self-worth, learnt to love and respect myself more.

I must admit I was in a somewhat similar relationship. The difference was that he was divorced twice and that should've been a clue! But, NO, I thought the things I saw in him was really what I wanted in a relationship. We had very good times together, attended family functions, traveled, etc. But when his second ex got wind of our relationship, she began a quest to get him back in her good graces any way she could. And he was gullible to fall for it. One month we were thick as thieves, the next I would only hear from him two or three times. After a couple of these episodes, I decided that this just wasn't working for me and called it a day. I was hurt, missed him, but was determined that I would not be a doormat any longer. I'm now seeing someone who has all that he didn't! Things are going GREAT and I give myself a high-five for not wasting any more of my time with that character.

I think he really doesn't know what he wants, because he hasn't had time or opportunity to know. Even though he isn't commited to his wife in the same way he was when he was married and living with her, he is still committed to working on a relationship with her until the time of his divorce and long after. He needs time to sort that relationship out before her can begin with yours. He is in the middle of a tornado, and you provide the calm during the storm. Since you are getting hurt by his actions, I think you need to do whatever it is that will make you feel better and stop thinking about his needs. He is not thinking of yours, so you must.

yes, anyone should leave that type of person, because there is no love or connection, if somone won't commit now, they probley won't in the future either.

Let him go. You don't want anyone elses seconds. He's already been married. He's had his soulmate and you need to find yours. Find someone who hasn't been married already.

He's just not that into you....

Thank you for putting this situation in such eloquent simple advice. The fact that you focus on finding someone who appreciates you and reciprocates your love is what is most important. That getting out there and dating others only helps you in the long run - it allows you to see what you are missing and if you truly do need to feel more appreciated than you do - that reciprocated love is far more fullfilling than one that is one sided with hope. I just went through this with just an emotionally unavailable man, it tore my self esteem and self worth apart - i've moved on and have three different dates this weekend - How the hell that happened I have no idea..... I'm a little scared, still a little insecure but you know what? If I can handle losing the love of my life I can risk rejection from men I don't know!

I like the first lady's comment, she knows what she is talking about. I am in the same situation. It SUCKS! I think I need to leave him after reading this and feel courageous I can.