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5 Dating Tips for Divorced Dads

By Andrea Syrtash, ONDating Updated: May 22, 2009
Andrea Syrtash
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Watch Andrea Syrtash's interview with a divorced dad. It's filled with good ideas that single single parents can use to restart their dating lives.
 
I got a call from a friend who married right out of college, divorced ten years after that, and now shares custody of his seven-year-old with his ex. The call went something like this: "Can you remind me what a dating site is? You've told me about it but it never mattered before. How do I work this thing?" (This is from someone who used to teach me the Commodore 64 in elementary school.)
For many single dads, Internet dating was not an option when they were in the dating pool. And, let's face it, for some single dads the Internet wasn't even born when they recited their vows.
It's difficult enough to navigate the dating world when you're single and perhaps even more difficult when you're looking to date again after marriage.
So, if you're a dad who is single again, I have five that will help you get on your way to a successful online dating experience. Meanwhile, take a look at this interview.
1. View This As An Opportunity
Being on a dating site and revealing the fact that you have a child is an advantage you may not have in another scenario. Be honest and upfront about your status as a single dad in your dating profile. You come as a package!
Divorced daters also have an advantage in that (I hope) they have learned something about themselves and what they're looking for in a partner. Write out all the things you have learned about yourself and what you believe you must have and can't stand in a potential mate. Examine the list so that you have clarity on your needs and dating goals moving forward.
2. Know When You're Ready To Date Seriously And Make Your Intentions Known
It can be exciting to date again after many years of marriage; but you may not want to rush into another relationship when you are newly separated. It's important to take some time to date again and exercise your dating muscle. It's also important to make your intentions known so that people who find you online realize you're not looking for a serious commitment at this point in time.
When you're ready to get into a serious relationship again and/or if you're interested in having more children in the future, it's also a good idea to highlight these facts in your dating profile.
“Many women are drawn to a man with good family values”
Many women are drawn to a man with good family values and you'll access a pool of women who are looking for the same thing.
3. Know When Your Kids Are Ready
Your child doesn't need to know the details of your dating life or your online dating activity. Generally speaking, it's a good idea to date for at least a few months before an introduction is made between your child and your date. It's important to see serious long-term potential before you integrate the person you're dating into your family.
Remember - your child didn't choose to be in this situation; and after going through a divorce, stability is important for him or her. Refer to your new date as a 'friend' until you are certain it's something more.
4. Spend Less Than Half Of Your Profile Talking About Your Child
Of course being a dad is an important part of your life and you should mention this in the 'About Me' section. In most cases
“it's good to spend a few lines talking about your favorite activities with your child”
it's good to spend a few lines talking about your favorite activities with your child and what you love about being a parent, and then move on. You have more interests and facets to your identity than being a dad, so find the balance when you're writing your online profile.
Include simple photos of yourself - a close up and one full-body shot works best online. If you want to include a photo of your child, that's fine too - just remember that the internet attracts predators. For this reason, you may not want to post a shot that shows a clear view of your child's face or advertises too much personal or contact information.
5. Do Your Research And Have Fun!
Surf around the net and look at dating profiles of single dads across the country. Pick a few that you like and want to emulate in your dating profile.
Most important, take the pressure off yourself and HAVE FUN.
“Always keep your dating profile upbeat, positive and humorous.”
Always keep your dating profile upbeat, positive and humorous. Women are attracted to men who are confident and playful. It's OK to reflect on what you've learned through your last relationship but leave the negativity out!
I, for one, think being a devoted single dad is sexy! It shows women that you are loyal, have good care-taking abilities and solid family values. These are the very same qualities that are often cited by women who are looking for a mate.
So - when you're figuring out how to 'work this thing' known as online dating, remember that 40 million other users are wondering the same thing and most are just hoping that someone like you is out there to meet.
Enjoy!
ONDating divorced dad interview
Watch Andrea Syrtash's interview with a divorced dad. It's filled with good ideas that single single parents can use to restart their dating lives.
 
More OnDating
Born in Toronto, Canada, Andrea Syrtash has been living in the United States for almost a decade. Andrea served as special editor for two books, "How to Survive the Real World" and "How to Survive Your In-Laws", and has written and lectured extensively on dating and living your best life. She has offered advice on NPR, in USA Today, as a writer for The Huffington Post and on NBC's Today Show. A graduate of The Coaches Training Institute, Andrea has been working with clients as a Life Coach over the past few years. She writes and hosts a dating advice show, ONDating, produced by NBC Digital Studios for ON Networks.
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