Yay! I get to be the first, uh, commentator! I'm glad to see that Dawn received an answer from more than one person because this man could either not be interested or he could merely be interested in taking things more slowly. For Dawn, the "instant chemistry" is there; for her lover, it is not. In my experience, that creates a problem, and I've been on both sides of the imbalance. Dawn should telllthis guy to give her a courtesy call if he can't show up, but she also needs to accept that she is way more into him than he is into her and back off a little bit. If he continues to disrespect her, she should end it. Just because you chemically respond to someone does not mean it's a good thing. Every time I run into one of my exes I experience a passionate jolt, but I just tell myself "She was not good for me. She didn't respect me. She would have destroyed me." Then, I sigh, scream "Why?" and keep walking.

hi i thimk he is in a relationship allready , and he just comes to you sometimes for fun.........

Dawn, you sound like an understanding woman. A bit too understanding, perhaps. I'm not trying to make you feel badly. Believe me, I've done the same thing. Three children are a handful. One can be a handful. But if this man is such a good father (ex: caring, thoughtful, attentive) then he'd already be in the habit of acting with courtesy and kindness. He's showing you neither. Barring the possibility that they all have extremely special needs he must provide for solo, he's simply making excuses - and using his children to hide behind, in the process. That's scary. Your question was riddled with undertones of "what's wrong with me?" and "he says he's just busy but I feel like there's more to it." Again, I know those feelings only too well. Honey, go with your gut and know that - in any case - he's not doing anything to make you feel GOOD about the situation. And isn't that the goal of a relationship? To care for someone and be cared for/about? He carelessly (even recklessly, I say) makes small commitments (to call, perhaps) which he doesn't keep. That speaks volumes. Anyone who cares will treat you with dignity and respect. He's providing neither. Lastly, in my book, not volunteering a legitimate explanation shows that there isn't one. Empower yourself with that bit of wisdom and let him go. You're better off alone, admiring your willingness to take care of your heart than waiting on or pining away for Mr. No Show.

Dawn, I have to agree with #3. He is either seeing someone else or has no respect for you at all. If he really liked you, he would follow through with his promises. What you need to ask yourself is, do you think this is what you deserve, and if so, you need to work on your self-esteem. You deserve much more than empty promises.

I seem to have lots of bad luck with relationships. I had a relationship not only with my best friend, but he is married. I cant say that i didnt want it to happen but now I am the one who is left behind. I try to believe what he told me. Seems that we were able to talk to each other about everything. Why am I so upset and hurt by this? I finally told him off at work the other day. It did feel good to finally express how hurt I was. I believed him when he told me he wanted to be with me. Well, now I am trying to get over it. Not only is he trying to work out things with his wife but we are not friends. I am not sure which upsets me the most. Any advice?

I am in a similar situation now with a guy who makes promises of calling or going out, but always falls thru. He doens't even give me an excuse or nothing, but when I eventually see him, he claims he was handling business or whatever, but this is always after I bring it up. My gut always told me that I'm not his priority, but an option. I know I have to cut him lose cause if this is the beginning then imagine what the end will be NOTHING! It hurts too especially if you have true geniune feelings, but the reality is you can not lose yourself over someone who doesn't feel you are worth an explanation for stand ups. Chances are your guy and my guy too have other relationships to tend to and we're an option or they're simply not interested. Good Luck and Be Strong! The advice you were giving applies to my situation too!

Dawn you sound like a wonderful woman with a lot of love to give some deserving man. Please do let this seemingly busy father of three go down his own busy path. The right man will come along and treat you with much love, respect and concern. I was in your shoes not too long ago. Luckily, the right man came along just when I was about to give up ever meeting anyone on this site. The first man I met and spent way too much time waiting for him to come around, sounds just like your "busy" father of three. I wasted a whole year patiently waiting for him to "come around". I finally realized that he was only into himself and was not emotionally involved with me at all. I was just a convenient person to have around sometimes. I am now seeing a very wonderful man who calls 4 times a day, sends roses and cards all the time, and treats me with much love and respect at all times. He appreciates me for who I am. In other words, he treats me like a Queen. I am very happy! At Last! So Dawn, just be patient and wait for the right guy to come along and treat you like the beautiful Queen you are!

God, I hate that situation... been thru that. Get out! while you still can.

I just got out of a 16 month relationship where I put forth way more effort than he did. I was left wanting quite often. He either backed out of something last minute or was very non-committal towards things. In the middle stages of our relationship, he saw me more often, but not without making a big production of how tired he was or whatever excuse he wanted to use. In the latter part of our relationship he became overly possessive towards me. My point is that if someone is sending you mixed signals, treat it as red flags and move on. Don't invest yourself anymore emotionally into something that most likely will leave you broken in the end. I hope this doesn't sound so fatalistic...it's just been my experience.

dawn, you need to ask him where is was and why he didnt call you..tell him that "normal people " communicate and you expect it...more than likely, he is busy with something other than his kids...they are just an excuse...but pin him down and watch him wiggle...that will answer all your questions...if you still want to see him after that, go for it..