I couldn't disagree more. A parent who loses a child simply cannot deny that they existed. After all, she has lost all the hopes and dreams she had for her son. Please think about how the parents would feel about the implication that they were not a parent by indicating that they have no children. That is much more untrue than saying there is one even though that child has passed away. The correct answer may vary from parent to parent, but if asked for advice, I would say, "Yes, I had one son. He passed away, and it is something that I am not ready to talk about." When the time is right, she knows he has been told the truth and she has acknowledged her precious child.

I also disagree with the article. The last thing a parent wants to do is deny they ever had a child!! trust me, i know :( the first reply here has the right answer! If you lie about that you will be questioned on what else you may be lying about :(

I too lost a son at the age of 21. He was my oldest of four. I always include him in my number of children. He's no longer on earth here with me, but very much in my heart, and forever on my mind. If I said I only had three children, it would make me feel as though I have forgotten about him, which I could never do. When ever I communicate with someone about my children, I just explain that I have a son that is deceased and three other children.

Unfortunately I feel I need to jump in here... I lost my Daughter at the age of seven, it was a horrible and traumatic experience that still hurts. I would NEVER, repeat NEVER deny the existance of my Daughter! Any man who thinks I mislead him by saying yes, I have a child.... frankly, I don't want to date him. D

I have a daughter who died at childbirth....when someone I don't know well yet asks if I have children I usually say no...simply to avoid the uncomfortable questions and pain...after I get to know them better if the situation warrants it I might share with them that she is dead...I don't feel like I am denying her exsistance and if the person feels that I lied to them and doesn't understand the reason I don't much care

I, myself have lost two children. I also have two living children. My response on a first date is, "I have two children, one who is 18 and the other 20." This in NO way negates the lives of my two other children.. this is a first date...someone I don't know, presumably.. the only people that matter to me who keep my children alive and remembered in their hearts forever, are my friends, my family and others who know me. I don't need to share their "existance" with a stranger, out of obligation just to prove to anyone or even myself that they are still every part of my life.. And until I feel comfortable discussing their lives/deaths in my own time, anyone who would in any way perceive that as "hiding" private information or being "deceiptful" or "lying" is not worth any further dates anyway! Karin.. my advise as to how to handle it when someone views this as untruthful.. is to walk away... and never look back. I have never once had a date relay to me that I was untruthful for not divulging that personal information on a first date.. no matter how I answered the question n the beginning.

i lost my infant son 23 years ago when i was nine months pregnant and due in 3 days. that was the most horrible thing i ever went through. i did have 2 daughters later but i never leave out the fact that i have 3 children. he was still my child and even though he is not with me i feel i owe him the recognation he deserves.

I think she should say upfront that she does have a child and later if she believes the relationship is worth it share the tragic news.

I agree with the majority here. It's been almost a year since I lost my youngest son at the age of 18. He is always included with my other four when I am asked about my children. I am as proud of him as I am the others.

Having also lost a son at 17, which was 19 yrs ago, I felt compelled to reply to this. I agree with Karin in that its not necesary to reveal you had a child that passed until youre more comfortable with the person. I have 3 other children and when asked, I always say I have 3, and one that is deceased. Makes me uncomfortable because I dont want others to think I am fishing for sympathy. And if asked for details, I simply say the truth, that he was killed in a car wreck, and leave it at that. If a relationship develops with this person, then we can talk more about it at another time. I feel uneasy with the people that say "I know how you must feel", I lost a parent..... Trust me, if youve never lost a child, you DONT know how I feel, it isnt the same as losing a parent or sibling.