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Do You Have Dating Dawdlitis?
4 steps to get you off the couch and on your way to love
By Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: May 8, 2008
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You'll do anything other than look for a partner online -- watch TV reruns, clean the bathroom, even call your mother. You freeze up and question yourself repeatedly when it's time to meet someone for coffee, make the next call, or move on to the first kiss.
Sound familiar? It's all too common, whether you're new to dating or a seasoned but burnt-out veteran. When you find it hard or even impossible to date, even though you're lonely and hungry for a romantic connection, you have what I call Dating Dawdlitis (DD).The four-step cure for DD
DD is what stands between you and those cozy nights of afterglow cuddling. But here's the good news: You can beat Dating Dawdlitis. Take these four steps that will
build your self-confidence and courage
build your self-confidence and courage.
4 action stepsbuild your self-confidence and courage Step 1: Understand you're not alone. Most, if not all singles, have been through some form of DD. It's OK to feel anxious, scared, intimidated, weird, or awkward. In fact, it's OK to feel whatever you're feeling.
Step 2: Understand that falling flat on your face is part of the romantic process. You're supposed to make mistakes. That's how you learn. You learn to walk by falling down. You learn to date by writing idiotic emails, sticking your foot in your mouth, and making clumsy, silly, and just plain wrong moves. The right person will find those not-cool things endearing and adorable!
Step 3: Understand you need to
train yourself to take action
train yourself to take action. Almost any action!! Email five hotties who are "out of your league." Open your mouth and say something, anything, to any cutie around. And I do mean anything at all. Anything is infinitely better than nothing. Once you practice jumping in, you'll be surprised at the possibilities that open up for you.
train yourself to take action Step 4: Understand it is normal to get "knocked out." Putting yourself out there in the dating world is a form of interpersonal training similar to learning to box. You are supposed to get knocked out until you meet the right opponent. When you are training to be in a loving relationship, expect to get rebuffed or rejected. It happens. When it does, you are that much closer to meeting your match. So give yourself a reward for succeeding.
As you take these steps, you will be well on your way to being with that one person who absolutely enjoys all the different cool and not-so-cool facets of you. And your Dating Dawdlitis will be a thing of the past.
- Five Dead-End Dating Patterns and How to Break Them
- 8 Steps to New Love: Your 2008 Dating Plan
- You Asked..."Why Won't He Commit?"
- You Asked... "Why Won't He Respond?"
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